géant brisé

When introducing him to his readers, Hugo describes Quasimodo: "One would have pronounced him a giant who had been broken and badly put together again."  

Even before my body was actually broken, there was never a time when I didn't feel exactly this.  I doubt if there will ever be a better interpretation of the book than the 1939 RKO version with Charles Laughton.  At the end, with Frollo vanquished and Esmerelda freed, Quasimodo sits alone in the battlements of the cathedral beside one of its famous gargoyles and laments his life, "oh, why was I not made of stone, like thee." and the camera angle changes to reveal the immensity of the cathedral and the smallness of Quasimodo.  

A feeling of isolation is part of the human condition.  We are every one trapped inside our own minds, spending our lives trying to discover ways to reach someone, anyone, before the lights go out on us.  I've never met anyone, not the strongest, not the most beautiful, not the most intelligent, who didn't have feelings of brokenness, of isolation, guilt, and loneliness.  It's always been my gift and my curse to see that behind the eyes of the people I meet.  It's one of the reasons Southern men tend to make humor out of self-effacing.  "I am weak.  I am broken. But you need strength from me, so I'll make a joke of it."  

There is a giant of untapped potential inside all of us.  Even those who you think couldn't possibly do more have infinitely more potential inside themselves.  Bragging is a combination of recognizing those untapped reserves and an apology for not producing them.  Some of us are better at releasing the giant inside of us, but I've never met anyone who was good at it, and I've met some amazing people.

Broken giant is a lonely existence.  Our closest companions are stone simulacrums, made twisted echos of ourselves, but without heart or emotion.  They have an advantage over us, always, because they do not feel, and feeling will almost always have moments when it tortures us, whoever you are.  

In discussing his career, Laughton said that Quasimodo is the character he played that was the most like him.  That's been interpreted as a reflection of his sexuality or his weight, or his lack of physical beauty, but I always saw it as a reflection of his humanity.  We are all broken giants.  The bells and the gargoyles are much easier for us to communicate with than each other.  We all sit alone on the parapet of life's cathedral, watching the happy people of Paris below us, envious of the unfeeling stone.  Like Quasimodo, whoever you are, life will, at times seem like something for others, but not for you.

Kings and Rubber Cigars

Today is the epiphany, or the theophany if you're Coptic, which always seemed a better name for me since the point is that the day represents the revealing of the theos, or Godness of Jesus, roughly "God Appears" in English. (apologies to those whose greek is far better than mine.)

In most traditions, it celebrates the day the Magi followed the star of Bethlehem to pay their respects to the baby Jesus. "Magi" is a Persian word usually associated with Zoroastrianism, meaning "priest" or "philosopher," but often translated to "wise men" or "king" in English.

The Magi are only mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew. It doesn't mention their names, their countries, or even how many there were. There being three of them, their three different nationalities and their three names are all part of supernumerary and not canon Christian traditions.

Much of the traditions we associate with the Magi come, not from the Gospel, but from the Old Testament, particularly from Isaiah predicting the coming of the Messiah. They bring gifts to the newborn "king of the Jews," or "the true king of the Jews," or "Messiah." Their presence and their naming the baby "King of the Jews" is what first reveals Jesus as the Messiah, and so that's why we celebrate it. It also predicts the next step in the Jesus story, where the acting King of the Jews, Herod the Great, seeks to destroy the baby before it can take his throne, forcing the holy family to escape to Egypt, much like Joseph did.

In English tradition, Ephiphany is associated with wassailing, or the visiting of orchards to procure their cider, which should have a reasonably strong alcoholic content by this time of the year, so it's a good day to get smashed and sing. In the American tradition, you're also supposed to have your Christmas decorations down by today, so you can start putting up your Valentine's day decorations.

We three kings of Orient are

Trying to smoke this rubber cigar

it was loaded and exploded

spreading us ever so far