There’s a scene in The Godfather where Michael is hiding in Sicily from the men who tried to kill his father, men who would kill Michael for his killing of Sollozzo and McCluskey. Michael is out shooting birds with his friends and bodyguards, and he chances upon a group of school children on the street guided by their young mistress, a woman named Apollonia, a woman Michael had never seen before.
In a moment, Michael forgets about New York; he forgets about his father and the men trying to kill him. He forgets about the army and the family business and college–he forgets about Kay, and there is only Apollonia. The intensity of his gaze causes Apollonia to take a step back. Noticing Michael’s condition, his friend says, “I think you were hit by a thunderbolt.” and then he says, “In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns.”
Most men can relate to a moment when this happened to them, even if the thunderbolt came not from a beautiful girl but from another man. I could say something like, “I guess it’s happened to me this many times,” but that would be a lie. I know exactly how many times it’s happened. I know the day of the week, the place, the weather, how she wore her hair, how her clothes hung on her shoulders. I remember it all. In sixty years, it’s happened five times.
The thunderbolt doesn’t mean marriage, a relationship, happiness, children, or grandchildren; it doesn’t mean any of that. Unless you’re one of the eleven people on the planet who have never seen The Godfather, you know things don’t work out for Michael and Apollonia. Michael ends up back with Kay, the true love of his life, if you can call what they had love.
In my life, I’ve always chosen not to pursue these creatures romantically. I always did my best to get to know them, and even to this day, I have regular conversations with nearly all of them. One of them reads my writing fairly regularly and sends me notes of encouragement. In thirty-five years, we’ve never discussed the thunderbolt, but she knows. How could she not? I could take you today to the very spot where it happened. It’s not far away.
My plan has always been to get to know these women as well as I can and become friends; then, if they want something else to happen, it will happen. That’s always served me well, although I did end up getting married that way once. I have no regrets.
A few weeks ago, on a day when I had a million things on my mind and lots on my schedule for that day, and that week, it happened again. The thunderbolt only happens by surprise, and boy, was I surprised.
It was such a surprise that I immediately became of two minds on the subject. Part of me was elated. Even if I never saw this woman again, my old heart had survived every attempt to destroy it and was functioning as well as it did when I was seventeen. The other part of me immediately said, “Lord, take this cup from me!” Those sorts of thoughts, those sorts of feelings only look foolish in a man my age. Part of me hopes we’ll meet again. Part of me hopes she’ll get a job in Paris that leaves on Friday.
If you stood these five women, these five thunderbolts that struck my life, in a line, hopefully, they’d get along, but also, they would look like five sisters, even siblings of the same brood. I very clearly have a type, and I haven’t a single clue where it comes from. Maybe it’s a memory of someone who befriended me as a baby. Maybe it’s a lover from another lifetime. Maybe this is the spirit of Shakespeare’s dark lady come to haunt me because she cannot rest. It’s not just the color of their hair and eyes that match, but the shape of their face and lips. It’s kind of spooky, to be honest.
I honestly hope I never see this woman again. It’s cool that it happened, and it made me smile all the way home, but there’s nothing good that can come of this. I’ve pursued these women before, and it can be disappointing. One was the older sister of a friend, and with her, I soon discovered there was no cake in that cake; it was all icing if you take my meaning.
I doubt that’s the case here, though. One of the advantages to only seeing women to whom you have been introduced is they usually share qualities of the person who introduced them, and that usually means there’s some substance there. Usually, that is.
We like to say that women are slaves to their emotions. Men are worse, but we’re better at hiding it. Men can also, some men at least, become slaves to their muse. I think, ultimately, that’s what a girl that makes you thunderstruck means. She’s to inspire something in you. It feels like love, but it’s something much stronger and much different.
I know a million tales of guys who were nearly destroyed pursuing the girls who struck them with thunder. I suppose that’s where the tale of the siren comes from. She was so beautiful, and her song so compelling, that he flung himself into the sea and was dashed on the rocks. Every guy I know knows somebody that happened to if it didn’t happen to them.
In his youth and his arrogance, Michael pursued the father of Apollonia, determined to have her after her thunderbolt claimed him. In case you haven’t seen the movie, I’m not going to say what happened, but his youth and his arrogance led to tragedy and pain, both for him and for Apollonia and her father. That’s a lesson for young men. The thunderbolt doesn’t always mean what you think it means. Respect that. These are powers greater than you understand.
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